things...are just....plain weird....im tired...
weeks go by, slow as bricks, yet it seems as if it were just yesterday when we joked and laughed unpreocuppied of the world. maybe i matured, and now i see the world as it is...grey, dull, and lonely. or maybe the universe is just kicking me in the back door just to get a laugh out of it. maybe i just feel old, for watching friends grow apart, the world creeping over as i see the easy days of the past more and more distant. anyway it is...no matter how boresome, how tiresome or how desperating it gets, i have to keep on.
but still, how much i long to rest on the floor, uncaring... just the floor, i ask for no more...a simple square of ground to rest on. but alas the irony of it all, for i step on the very ideal of my yearning, climbing and striding with the reminder of peace below my feet.
Even my own mind plays me tricks; even when i claim to myself that the sole company of that precious being is sufficient for the time, my soul urges for an eternal-second more of her warmth, one more neverending glimpse of her mischievous smile, one more simple ,infinite, fraction of the symphonic being behind the tune of her laughter. almost sarcastic...like a dream that wont let me rest.
tired... its nearing the end of the race, of the battle of choices, of the constant alert. no time to ponder between waiting or catching up. no energy left to decide... only to let the flow carry me, seldomly taking a stroke or two to straighten course.
*Servo propinqus qui es carus tibi*
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